


Bittersweet Release

by OhHappyDay (SoldatYasha)



Category: Smosh
Genre: Depressed feelings, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fantasizing, Gay Panic, Implied Relationships, Longing, M/M, Masturbation, One-Sided Attraction, Repressed Feelings, Secretly Two-Sided Attraction, Smosh Games - Freeform, Suppressed Feelings, Voyeurism, lots of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 08:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16114736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoldatYasha/pseuds/OhHappyDay
Summary: Damien’s most adventurous sexual exploit was doing it “across the bed, instead of up-and-down” - and Shayne knows that, because Shayne was witness to it, hiding behind the closet door, living out a fantasy vicariously through Damien’s one night stand, something both boys knew about, but never actually discussed.





	Bittersweet Release

**Author's Note:**

> Based on what I believe was a Stucky fanfic that I can’t find, but please send it to me if you do- the consensual peeping tom story of two bros, chillin in a dark bedroom, both in love and both terrified to admit that they might be, just a little bit, gay.

Damien wasn’t the kind of guy who did one-night-stands; he much preferred the steadfast comfort of a serious relationship. He wasn’t good at meeting people one-on-one, at being suave right from the start, at being physically intimate with no mental familiarity to fall back on. He was insecure about his slight lack of sexual expertise, Shayne was more of a seasoned pro.

(Shayne hardly thought a stumbling series of drunken mistakes, made to try and hide the trail of his infatuation with his best friend, made him a seasoned pro- but he had more experience than Damien, and that was enough leverage to make the suggestion.)

Damien didn’t know that “the suggestion” was a selfish indulgence for Shayne, disguised as selfless coaching and assistance for Damien. Shayne didn’t know that Damien’s acceptance (and his reason for bringing up his slightly-fabricated insecurities to Shayne in the first place) was also for the selfish reason of getting off on Shayne getting off, Shayne being the voyeur disguised as the remediator, Damien being the exhibitionist disguised as the case study.

“If you want, I can give you some critiques?”

“What, you’re gonna have sex with me, give me feedback, a Yelp review?”

“Nah man, i’ll just- tell you what; you get the girl, i’ll just...hide in your closet, observe from afar- from a strictly professional critiquing standpoint- and then tell you afterwards what I woulda done in the same scenario.”

“You’re gonna creep on me, for science?”

“I’m gonna CRITIQUE you, to help my bro get his game up to speed. I mean, I won’t if you’re content to stay devoid of the feminine touch forever….”

“Hah, you’re funny- okay, i’ll do it. Just don’t make any noise, it’ll be too weird and too hard to explain to any girl what you’re doing.”

“You got it- i’ll have a ten-page report on your desk by the next morning!”

“Sure, mister amateur reporter- just tell me what I can fix so I can finally conquer some fears.”

And that was how Shayne found himself, close to midnight on a Friday night, crouched in between a hamper and a pile of (Clean? Dirty? Who knew?) clothes, suddenly as anxious as he had been as a teenage virgin, startled into a shiver-slash-cold-sweat combo of adrenaline upon hearing the lock turn in the front door.

His adrenaline panic quickly faded as the boring parts of the night began to take place- Damien offering the girl a drink in the kitchen, showing off his cats in the living room, and finally the both of them entering the bedroom to watch a movie. With the lights off and the pair silent, the only noise the sounds of the film and the only light the glare from the screen, Shayne could feel himself tense up again- with them now in the same room as him, he could barely move, couldn’t risk making a sound, and with the room dark he couldn’t risk the glow of his phone and the internet to distract him from his own nervous jitters. He didn’t have anything to be nervous about, all he had to do was literally absolutely nothing- Damien was the one who had to interact, make small talk, put on the moves, put in the effort. But somehow, Shayne was just as nervous as if it were himself on that bed, with his arm around the girl whose name he’d heard but just as soon forgotten.

Things began to happen in that anxiety-filled way that seems like slow-motion and sped-up at the same time; Damien and the girl making small chat in between scenes, which became kissing (hard to see in the dim light, but the occasional mouth-sound indicating what was happening), a sweatshirt coming off here, a t-shirt there. The girl could have been fat or thin, scrawny or strong, smooth-skinned or scarred, dark or pale, curvy or boyish, all of the above or none at all. Shayne’s focus wasn’t on her or her actions, but on Damien; his eyes, going from low-lidded to closed when he made out with her, to wide open as more and more skin was revealed; his hands, shaking-

(ever so slightly- did she not notice at all, because of the dark room, of not knowing Damien, not knowing how over the years he’d gone from full-body jittering like a leaf in the wind to isolating it just to his hands or a nervous bouncing knee, seeing it as a weakness, and not as anything humanizing or natural or endearing? Or did she notice more than Shayne, because she wasn’t sequestered to a closet, pretending to do something he wasn’t, be someone he never could, live out a fantasy in proxy- unable to feel Damien’s shaking hands, everywhere, somewhere, anywhere at all?)

-and his mouth, with its gentle smile, pressing kisses down her body like a sailor descending into a sinking ship. Shayne barely noticed anything he could have “graded” Damien on, or helped him with, barely noticed if he went too fast or slow, too nervous or too overconfident, too aggressive or too gentle; everything and anything that Damien did was something he’d never done, and would never do, with Shayne, and it made Shayne drink in every second, sight, and sound as the forbidden fruit he would never personally taste.

(Shayne was too absorbed in the details of what Damien was doing, of envisioning it all happening with himself in the girl’s place, to notice Damien’s glances at the closet door.)

As things progressed in the bedroom, other things were beginning in between the laundry piles; Shayne had been hard since the first moment Damien’s eyes fluttered shut in a kiss, and Shayne had imagined himself as the reason, and now he was straining against his pants and feeling quite uncomfortable, not only from the pressure but from the general discomfort of sitting so rigidly and in one position for so long. Moving slow as the tides, he slumped back into the old clothes, relaxing his spine, and tooth by metal tooth undid his zipper; by the time Damien had finished being a gentleman and swallowing her moan as she came with her own taste on his lips, Shayne had finally (finally) freed himself from both pants and boxer briefs, and could trail a fingertip through the drip of precum at the tip and ever so quietly and so slowly begin to stroke himself, matching pace to her hesitant attempts to take Damien down her throat, Shayne’s heartbeat skipping at each of Damien’s gently murmured praises, imagining that he was the one earning them, deserving them.

By the time the main event was beginning (after application of a condom, at the girl’s relief at Damien’s easy acquiescence), Shayne was twitching from the slow pace and the gradual buildup with no acceleration or relief, and leaned forward again to press against the closet door, get the best angle possible of the event. The door creaked slightly upon taking his weight; something Shayne didn’t notice through his enraptured viewings, the girl didn’t notice as she made herself comfortable spread across the bed on all fours, and Damien definitely noticed and found himself hiding a groan and squeezing the base of his cock as he caught a glance out of the corner of his eye of movement through the slats in the closet door of a speed and direction that could only be Shayne getting off on Damien’s exploits.

With the couple’s pace now picked up, and the bed creaking enough to cover Shayne’s noise (he hoped, anyways), he added some corresponding speed and vigor to his own actions, and by the time the main characters of tonight’s story of debauchery had switched to their final positions, Shayne was flushed and shaking and gripping the base of his dick and trying to prolong what could have been over twenty minutes ago had he been the one setting the pace. The girl was now lying across the bed with Damien above her missionary style, the angle of the two (coincidentally to Shayne, actually very much on purpose by Damien) giving Shayne the perfect profile view, allowing him to admire Damien, glowing faintly in the electronic light with a sheen of sweat, muscles tight but back moving painstakingly slowly and fluidly as he tried to prolong his own pleasure, give the girl one more good time beforehand. The sight was something straight out of a fantasy- the languid undulations, the panting with a low undercurrent of stifled moans, the filthy sounds of fucking, the sweat, the scent, the entire tableau. 

Damien had been barely balancing on the precipice for a while now, wanting to stay in the moment- give his date as orgasmic of a night as he could, build up his own enjoyment for a climax to render him near catatonic, and listen to the barely audible sounds of Shayne trying to hide the fact that he was getting off on his best friend getting off.

It all came crashing down in cascading sequence, like dominos- the girl, who was having the best hookup of her life, fell into her second orgasm, slowing down and stopping before seizing up and arching off the bed in pleasure; her orgasm started Damien’s, who began thrusting erratically and finally burying himself as deep as he could, making a strangled sound as the sensations peaked; and this triggered Shayne, who was already past the point of no return upon witnessing this all take place, but found himself suddenly painting his own face with his cum as he shifted his gaze upwards and found that at the very peak of euphoria, Damien had turned his head, and was looking directly at Shayne.

Everything afterwards felt like a fever dream. Damien and the girl flopped over each other, caught their breath, and spent a little while talking; the girl commented on how she was relatively inexperienced, and Damien joked back about being similarly inexperienced, with this being “his most adventurous night yet, doing it across the bed instead of up-and-down!” which sent her into peals of laughter. Shayne felt numb, like he was in a fever dream; he just sat there, amidst the laundry, barely registering their conversation save for a comment here and there. Eventually the girl got up to leave, saying she worked Saturdays but please text her anytime (Damien would never contact her again), and Damien getting up with her to walk her to her car like a gentleman, and Shayne waiting for both of them to go to the parking lot before slipping out the back entrance and taking a cab home, going straight to bed, ashamed of his actions while also pondering that glance from Damien, wondering if he knew what he’d been doing, if he knew how he felt, how things would change.

Shayne didn’t see or hear from Damien the rest of the weekend, but got to talk with him at work, just about mundane, unrelated things, in the setting of a work environment and around others; and then the day became the next, and so on, and the night was never discussed between the two of them.

Until it would come up months later on a Smosh Pit Video, where it would astonish cast and crew alike that Shayne would know word for word what Damien’s “most adventurous” exploit was, remembered from a comment at the end of that night…….it wouldn’t be till a few days after that that Shayne would finally (finally) talk to Damien about how he felt, that he would find the feeling to be mutual, that Damien had known what he was doing the whole time. It wouldn’t be for a few weeks that they would go on a date, months that they would become official. But for now, it was something for Shayne to wonder about, thinking about in the cover of night and solitude, and many more times than once, fantasize about, masturbate to the thought of...not knowing that across the city, Damien was doing exactly the same.


End file.
